What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize