We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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