I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize