just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize