Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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