life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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