thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
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Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize