WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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