What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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