woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
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I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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