Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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