he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize