Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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