It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize