i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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