He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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