so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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