He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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