We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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