shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
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He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If I die, sorry about rent.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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