Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize