Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
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It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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