and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize