tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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