I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize