so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It was confusing and full of hummus
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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