Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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