Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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