Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.

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  (206): Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story. http://tfl.nu/xxuj
  Replies (8) Good night (981) Bad night (4633) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous

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  (304): I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous http://tfl.nu/zxmn
  Replies (27) Good night (5382) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went

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  (443): you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went http://tfl.nu/2n24
  Replies (7) Good night (1636) Bad night (3256) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?

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  (703): Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning? http://tfl.nu/g5lh
  Replies (4) Good night (1537) Bad night (4836) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.

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  (907): The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door. http://tfl.nu/z046
  Replies (6) Good night (1837) Bad night (1459) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward

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  (815): my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward http://tfl.nu/w58u
  Replies (7) Good night (2673) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this

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  (315): someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this http://tfl.nu/qf5d
  Replies (2) Good night (2626) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice

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  (732): There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice http://tfl.nu/ufj4
  Replies (7) Good night (2292) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"

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  (845): dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED" http://tfl.nu/7ras
  Replies (4) Good night (968) Bad night (2481) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.

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  (217): Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty. http://tfl.nu/eut4
  Replies (9) Good night (638) Bad night (1839) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on

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  (707): That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on http://tfl.nu/xdbh
  Replies (1) Good night (1048) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.

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  (815): I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes. http://tfl.nu/i72f
  Replies (7) Good night (1724) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?

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  (506): Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant? http://tfl.nu/bdft
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.

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  (503): He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor. http://tfl.nu/y1d6
  Replies (9) Good night (929) Bad night (333)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon

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  (334): FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon http://tfl.nu/se3x
  Replies (9) Good night (1907) Bad night (235)

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