I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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