I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Im part way to drunk.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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