he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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