we're blogging at a bar
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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