Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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