It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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