His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
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The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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