So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is this like a preordered booty call?
soo... how was my night?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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