I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize