I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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