I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize