dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Damn victory sex feels great
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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