Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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