Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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