I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
thus making me awesome and them whores
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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