She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
A+ Viking dick
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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