I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize