I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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