11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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