just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize