i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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